So, Friday morning, I think I have everything sorted and can get the boys to school in time to “make their line’ when at T minus 10 I’m asked “Where’s my cake?”
“Er, what cake?” If there was cake in the house I’m pretty sure I would know about it, I can sniff out cake like a bloodhound on speed.
“We need a cake for the Autumn Fair, it’s today” they say matter of fact, like I’m somehow supposed to know about this. “The PTA Autumn fair Mum!” they repeat waving a crumpled flyer under my nose, that I swear I have never set eyes on before.
On a sliding cake scale of Laurel & Hardy at one end and Nigella Lawson at the other, I’d be somewhere in the middle. I’m no Domestic Goddess, but I can knock up a Victoria Sponge if required. I can’t do it in 10 minutes though. “It’ll just have to wait till later” I say, realising that we are one PE kit short of a successful exit and frantically searching for a second trainer. “I’ll make something while you are at school and bring it with me at pick up time” Agreement is mumbled as we shuffle towards the door.
On the way home I get some decorations for said cake and some butter, since I know we are short; I get to the till and nearly need CPR at the price of butter. Brexit is obviously beginning to bite.
I made a couple of cakes only a week ago, but somehow in the interim I’ve lost the cake pans. How do you loose cake pans? Fifteen minutes of searching gives me a big fat nothing, so I give up and use other pans that I suspect are a little bit too big, bugger it, they’ll do. I get them greased and lined, and then tackle the oven. It’s time to play “guess the temperature”. My oven runs hot. At the bare minimum, its at least 20 degrees hotter than the lies the thermostat is telling me, the recipe suggests 180 degrees, but if I do that I’ll end up with cinders, I’ll try 150 and keep an eye on it.
Despite phone calls and a husband in an annoying mood, I get them made and in the oven, now the game of chicken starts… how long to leave them? Do I go the full 25 minutes, I have the temperature reduced after all. No, I check after 20 and both cakes are firm to the touch, and have pulled away from the side of the tin, I wheak them out of the oven ASAP and leave them to cool.
Then it’s the fun part – decorating. I got a few bits and pieces, sugar bone sprinkles, gummy vampire teeth and chocolate eyeballs, delightful, but it looks good. It would be too much to hope for that the cake would fit in the tin though, wouldn’t it? That would be far too easy!
The only thing I have that is remotely the right size is an empty Swizzles sweet box from last Halloween. to make it easy to get at the cake, I up end the box and (carefully) place the cake on the lid, with the upturned box over the top. Tah-Dah! The only thing is, the lid isn’t that stable, so to transport it to the school, I lift a placemat off the table for a bit of extra support. Now, remember where I was on that scale; good. I do wipe the table and mats down after the evening meal, but don’t usually bother after breakfast, and I can feel what I can only hope is squashed dried on cereal on the underside of the place mat. Yuk. It won’t matter, I’m only dropping off the cake in it’s box, the placemat is coming home, no one will know; I just hand the box over and no harm done, result. Again – that would be too damned easy!
I get to the school, and ask directions to the cake sale stand from one of the boys teachers. “Don’t worry, I’ll take it” she says reaching out and taking it from me, including the crusty place mat. Our eyes meet, two sets of pupils widen, she’s felt the crusty cereal!
“Um, I’ll just take that back” I mumble, totally mortified.
“Yes, not a problem, I’ll just take… this, down to the cake sale” she says eyeballing me as I slink off like Spud in Transpotting.
Just at that moment I feel a wee warm hand slip into mine. “Hello Mummy, mmmmm you smell of vanilla and strawberry jam” and suddenly, just like that my whole world is ok again. x
Oh that looks yummy! Your story was funny… that sounds like my life! Looking for missing cake tins!
I popped over from Suzie Speaks blog party. Xx
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Yay! Hello!!
They still haven’t turned up, no idea what I’ve done with them!!!
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Wow!! That cake is EXCELLENT!! That would have taken me 22 hours, one burnt first try, a bottle of wine, and my remaining sanity to accomplish!! You are hilarious, btw!
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Wow HIGH praise! I’m beaming! And I’m very glad you enjoyed it 😘
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☺️☺️❤️
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[…] Thoughts of the chocolate fudge cake that she made for the Autumn Fair lurked in the shadier corners of Plots mind too, but she remembered the look on the teacher’s […]
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[…] Autumn Fair […]
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I’m closer to the Laurel & Hardy end of the scale but this looks like you did a great job! You got it level, which is a big part of the challenge for me.
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Both layers are upside down so that I have a level surface to ice – ta-dah
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Oh the memories of last minute PTA letters!! You certainly pulled it out of the bag – I would have rushed to buy a ready made one! Great post and FAB cake 🙂
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It was worth it – just to see the look on my son’s face, but obviously had to make a second cake for home, otherwise they were going to make me buy my own cake! d’OH!
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I am so impressed with that cake! Funny read, thanks
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Aw cheers. My sis is a home economics teacher, and does the whole cake decorating thing at professional level, my stuff always seems clumsy by comparison. But it tastes good. Usually.
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The cake was perfect! Why oh why do they always wait to the day of to let you know that they NEED something??? Then, when you are about to lose your mind, the little buggers do something so sweet. Kids!
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Its the law, there are unwritten sneaky laws that you have to learn as a parent – this is one.
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So true
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That cake looks pretty perfect to me! Now I want chocolate!
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That cake looks fantastic! And I miss the days of telling my mom last-minute that I needed something baked or made for school… 😉
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I know, I have a nerve on me, it’s just a heavy dose of Karma. I never told my parents anything on time lol!
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Thanks so so much for blog posting !! Then it’s the fun part – decorating. I got a few bits and pieces, sugar bone sprinkles, gummy vampire teeth and chocolate eyeballs, delightful, but it looks good. It would be too much to hope for that the cake would fit in the tin though, wouldn’t it? That would be far too easy!
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Glad you liked it 🙂
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[…] fell apart, Castle Catastrophe; I totally embarrassed myself in front of my son’s teacher Autumn Fair, my car did fall apart Roadside Elf & Safety and I nearly poisoned us all with a truly, bloody […]
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Your cake looks amazing, I’m sure it tasted good to.
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Lol! I hope so, that’ll probably be coming up again soon.
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So funny! I remember those days so well with my two kiddos. Not sure I which I dreaded most, “Mom, I need a cake” or “Mom, I need a costume!”
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Equally bad. I know I have a Viking costume to make next term. (Mental note – set reminder)
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