Whoa! Haul the bus I want to get off!
The past few weeks have been a mad swirl, like going round the race track in Monza in a F1 car; except I’m not actually in the car, more like being dragged behind it in roller skates, clinging on for dear life.
Back to school
We’ve had the whole ‘back to school’ drama, of new uniforms, and a list of stationary that will keep Easons in business (even if they don’t sell another paperback) the rest of the year. This is only halfway – because, once bought, every… and I mean EVERY bast***ding thing has to be labeled with a name. <Note to self: I could save a whole lot of time next year by buying ready named pencils>
And I did it, I named e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.– do I get a sticker saying “well done! I named all the stuff”? No
Do I go onto a Mum’s league table for getting it all sorted?
Is it too much to ask – a little bit of credit for getting my shit together? (Apparently yes)
Nobody knows the strain, how against the grain this level of organisation is pour moi. I am – as revealed by lovely Kim from Rhinoceros Dreams – a pantser. Yes it would be lovely to be the ‘panther’ that my spell check is desperate to change that to, but no, ‘Pantser’ it is, and ‘Pantser’ it remains – someone who flies by the seat of their pants. Kim’s reference was specifically for writing, but as I mentioned to her, I am a dyed in the wool, card carrying, lifelong panther and pretty much apply this mentality to everything… except the boys, I try to keep some level of organisation there; if I didn’t the scale of the disorganisation would be truly and very scarily epic. Read Kim’s post https://rhinocerosdreams.com/give-pantser-writing-prompt/
So having ‘named all of the stuff’ so begins the second round; backing books. Bring on the sticky backed plastic.
Next – Backing Books
You need to imagine Spaghetti Western music, and tumbleweed as me and the sticky back plastic have a Mexican standoff at the dining room table.
Right, so it’s done. But I used all of the swear words; every last one of them, and made up a few more. Last year I believe I played a blinder and managed to back their books using Pokemon cards, thats 25 cards that won’t be lying on my floor; only 5638 to find another use for then, but this was ruled out for this year, dang & blast!
So that was boys back to school, and the bank account emptied.
Next was stepson No. 2 going back to Uni – <enter Stage Left the mother load of laundry> No bloody wonder his room stank! A full box of laundry powder later, and it turns out he actually went up to the attic looking for yet more gear to be washed. humph.
Then I had a brain fart, I had forgotten I had promised to make him brownies, and I was almost out of time (I am a pantser remember). So that had to happen.
I have never made brownies before, this would be broaching new territory.
I am now the Brownie Bitch – they rock!
Back in the kitchen, baking brownies
The first batch disappeared like snow off a ditch, there was nothing to pack, his Dad and brothers cleared every last crumb. i made another batch, and got about 9 into a tin pretty much immediately. Blinked and the remaining brownies disappeared. Have now made two more batches and there is a run on these as we speak.
In my head I am now planning a new career selling Brownies by post, and am developing all sorts of recipe ideas, incorporating salted caramel, cherries for a Black Forrest Brownie, and chilli jam for my El Diablo. How can I be naming stuff that doesn’t actually exist? Anyway unlike my allotment, it’ll never bear fruit – but in the unlikely event that anything happens other than me waking my self up snoring – you’ll be the first to know.
Talking of the plot, it always picks the most inopportune time to go ballistic, which would be the past fortnight. We are in Tomatogedden again – despite not actually planting any tomatoes this year after the last palaver. However it is the cucumbers that are this year’s stand out thugs, and are pushing fruit out faster than Culchies buying Buckfast in a half price promotion.
I have given loads away, my family are sick looking at them, so are the neighbours; they are great in gin, but if I gave away any more with that in mind I’d be pushing folk into borderline alcoholism.
The elephant in the room here is pickling. I had a pickle incident last year when I tried to pickle the green tomatoes. Between you and me – vile! Absolutely disgusting! Not only did the house reek of vinegar for a week, we lost a layer of tooth enamel trying to eat the stuff. I still have three pots of it, just in case I need a present for someone I don’t like.
Anyhoo, I decided to give pickling another go, using a different method.
Well, darlings, we have success! I made my own sweet spiced vinegar and have now pickled numerous cucumbers, my onions, beetroot, and carrots. Its YUM! Thank God, because I don’t know what else I could have done!
I have already finished one pot, any excuse and I’ll have pickle with that. Amazeballs!
I’ll put up a recipe post soon for the brownies and also the pickles, just in case you fancy having a go, but I’ll have to wrap this up as I am out of time… again, and will be late with tea, which is a cardinal sin.