An Elaborate Hoax

via Daily Prompt: Elaborate

Long, long ago, before blogging was a thing, before the existence of Google, even before the internet, the cutting edge of industrial technology (not yet available in schools) was the photocopier. A device that could instantly make multiple copies of your work, without taking up all of the resources of the typing pool, so a double edged sword in some ways.

To those of a more devious mind, the photocopier provided opportunities for pranks, previously out of reach.

Imagine if you will, the technical drawing office of a large engineering firm, sometime in the early to mid 1970’s an office dominated by young men in tweed sports jackets and heavy rimmed tortoiseshell glasses. The heady mix of creative minds, testosterone and time on their hands (this was way before KPI’s) made for… lets say a prank friendly atmosphere. They were all at it, a practical joke or two made for a more interesting day.

 

My Dad and his Pals were experts in their field.

 

Run of the mill jokes included soldering a 50 pence to the floor, and watching each passer by try first to discreetly try and pick it up; discretion being inversely proportional to frustration. Go up a league and you might use a Stanley Knife to cut around the internal border of your colleague’s plans and glue the internal square piece to the drawing board, this would ensure that when said plans were lifted, the border would come away leaving the crucial central plans still on the drawing board.

 

Dad, being a kind of Evil genius when it came to pranking was King of the Hill.

 

One of Dad’s friends was a crazy Italian, Cosimo and just to wind him up Dad always called him Cosmos, he called Dad “Macaroni” and they were as thick as thieves.

 

Cosimo, wasn’t above throwing the odd Latin wobbler every now and again, particularly if he felt he had been insulted, this happened, not infrequently. And so, another occasion arose; he had been denied entry somewhere (now lost to history) and he went crazy, going on about it for weeks afterwards, taking the complaint ever higher. Eventually Dad had enough, and a prank began to take shape.

 

He dictated a letter of apology to one of the girls in the typing pool, allegedly from the Foreign Office, who were profoundly sorry that he had come to this country and treated so abominably. Changes would be made, heads might roll, but he would never be treated this way again.

 

All good, but at the moment it was just a letter, for something of this rank it would need headed paper, this was back in the day when even cigarettes might come “by Royal Appointment.” A coat of arms (not the Royal one) was very carefully cut from a cigarette packet and attached to the top of the letter. This was then photocopied so that everything looked uniform.

 

Now admittedly, this wouldn’t pass muster now, but back in the ’70’s? This was a different times with less sophisticated technology. It was rather convincing, and it was sent to Cosimo’s home address.

 

The next day he came in like the cat that got the cream, everyone was in awe Including three staff  ‘in the know’. Word soon got out that Cosimo had a letter from the Foreign Office. This created quite a stir, as ever more senior managers came to the Drawing Office to have a look.

 

This was beginning to take on a life of its own, Dad and his friends began to get nervous.  Line managers, Section Chiefs, Heads of Department, all cooing over the marvellous letter. Cosimo’s stock was rising by the moment, only someone truly important would receive a letter like this. Someone decided that the CEO be called, for a photo with Cosimo and the letter for the local paper.

 

If I know my father, he was dying inside, but unable to stick it out any longer, he came clean and owned up to the whole affair.  It wasn’t from the Foreign Office, it was an Elaborate Hoax.

 

Silence.

 

Then roars of laughter, “Macaroni! You fool everyone! Who’s the fool now, heh?” Off the hook, Dad could do no more than sheepishly agree